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Top 64 New Years Dad Jokes to Start a Year off with a Bang

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Top 64 New Years Dad Jokes to Start a Year off with a Bang

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The new year is the perfect time to unearth some of those classic, timeless dad jokes that have been treasured through generations. Not only do one-liners and puns bring a smile to our faces, but utilizing them as an icebreaker can cause laughter in any room! 

Note: These jokes are supposed to be fun and make you laugh. However, if you feel that some are intrusive or offends you, or others, in any way, don't hesitate to contact us. We will remove the jokes that doesn't bring joy to people's lives.

Dad jokes are a beloved, age-old tradition that has been making people chuckle for centuries. These hilarious puns often appear corny and over the top - yet still have the power to elicit an unexpected smile or laughter from even the most serious of folks! In addition to lightening up awkward conversations, dad jokes can be employed as a way to add joy and levity into any situation. With their cunning double meanings and creative wordplay, these classic jests always seem surefire ways to bring on fits of giggles.


According to a survey conducted by the University of Maryland, “laughter can enhance our moods, reduce stress levels, and boost overall wellbeing” (“The Benefits of Laughter”). With this in mind, dad jokes are a great strategy for starting a year with optimism. Dad jokes have the power to elevate spirits and usher in some much-needed cheerfulness as we enter into the New Year.

Are you searching for the perfect dad joke to kick off the new year? Look no further! Here are 69 of the absolute best New Year's Dad Jokes that will get your year started with a bang. From puns and one-liners, you're sure to be laughing throughout this incredible list. So without any delay, let us dive into these jokes and start our journey into new year:

  1. What is every gamers New Years Resolution? 3840x2160
  2. Why is 6 afraid of 9 on New Years Eve? Because 9, 8, 7.
  3. What do gamers make for New Years? A New Years RESOLUTION.
  4. Where do the burgers go on New Year's Eve? To a meat ball!
  5. Happy new year! Sorry, I suffer from premature congratulation.
  6. “My New Year’s resolution is to get in shape. I choose round.”
  7. LIKE if you've already broke one of your New Year's Resolutions.
  8. My New Year's Resolution is to lose 10 pounds Only 13 more to go.
  9. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!
  10. So, the new year isn't a screen? But how can it have a resolution?
  11. I need to buy a 4k TV, no matter what. It's my new year resolution.
  12. I've never liked new years at time square They always drop the ball.
  13. My new years resolution for 2012 is to figure out how calendars work.
  14. Arabs are so rich. They lit whole hotel on fire to celebrate new year.
  15. I'm having an increasing fear of New Year songs. Must be Ole Langxiety.
  16. I reply to "Happy New Year" with "not if I have anything to do with it."
  17. I asked a nerd what his New Year's resolution was. He said, "1920x1080".
  18. I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution.
  19. What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve? Social Security.
  20. Anyone still keeping up with their New Year's resolutions? I am. Still 1080p.
  21. Our Xmas dinner also happens to be my New Year's resolution Bone-less turkey.
  22. I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution. 4K.
  23. My new years resolution is 3840 X 2160 because I recently bought a 4K monitor.
  24. New Year's Eve is just a myth created by the government to sell you more years.
  25. I always find New Year's Eve stressful. I've been diagnosed with old langxiety.
  26. Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it's to be less of a nerd.
  27. What did the camel toe say to the moose nuckle on New Years eve? Let's get toe up!
  28. What's my New Year resolution? Well, I just got a Hi-Def TV, so it's 1920 X 1080i.
  29. I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution. 3840x2160
  30. My New Year's resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
  31. I'm doing well on my New Years resolution to lose 10 pounds I only have 15 more to go.
  32. What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? I haven't seen you for a year!
  33. My New Year's resolution is to stop eating so much candy, so I can focus more on cookies.
  34. My New Year's resolutions: 1. Stop making lists. B. Be more consistent. 7. Learn to count.
  35. I bought my friend a new computer screen for Xmas. His New Year resolution is 1920 x 1080.
  36. If you just got invited to do something on New Year's Eve, it means someone else cancelled.
  37. Kids - there is no Santa. Those gifts were from your parents. Happy New Year from Wikileaks.
  38. For Lent I've decided to give up my New Year's Resolutions, now pass the Girl Scout Cookies.
  39. My new years resolution is going well, lost 10 pounds! But that was down the back of my sofa.
  40. Call me crazy but "dropping the ball" does not sound like a good way to start off a new year.
  41. You still have 10 more hours to lose all the weight from your last New Year's resolution. Hurry!
  42. Why does Vincent van Gogh always look forward to thenew year? Because everyone wishes him a new ear.
  43. I made two New Year's resolutions: my first is to stop procrastinating I'll make my second one later.
  44. At the beginning of this year I made a New Year's resolution to lose 10 pounds. Only 15 pounds to go!
  45. My psychic friend is really excited about this new year. You could say he's really looking forward to it.
  46. Happy New Years 2013! Hey guys I'm sending this through Internet Explorer, hope you guys had a great 2012!
  47. I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
  48. Shout out to whoever scheduled Valentine's candy to show up just as we're all giving up on New Year resolutions.
  49. Two monitors are at a new years party. One says "So, what's your new years resolution?" The other replies "1080p".
  50. What did one bird say to another bird on New Year's? WOW THAT YEAR FLEW BY *slaps knee, then crawls back under rock*
  51. This is embarrassing but I just noticed that I've been wearing "2006" New Year's Eve glasses for the past decade. :(
  52. I've counted 8 people so far whose New Year's resolutions include "loose weight". Can I add spelling to your list too?
  53. Before Midnight on New Years Eve, I raised my Left Foot off the Ground So I could be sure to start 2016 on the right foot.
  54. I can't believe other countries are allowed to celebrate the New Year before America. Some superpower we turned out to be.
  55. My New Years resolution would have been to stop procrastinating so much Except I never got around to writing that one down.
  56. Happy New year America! from your friend Australia. Don't worry I expect it'll take about 18 or so hours for you to get this.
  57. Those novelty New Years glasses look so stupid. So I wear glasses that say "Yesterday" because it makes me wise beyond my years.
  58. Hats off to those people brave enough to wear those silly New Years hats at work. No. I meant take your hats off. You look stupid.
  59. Starting now, every hour, on the hour, walk up to a stranger and slip the tongue in. Because it's midnight somewhere. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
  60. Nobody showed up for my Time Traveler-themed New Year's party I guess I shouldn't bother with sending the invitations next week after all.
  61. My New Year's resolution is *removes sunglasses* 2048x1080. I'll explain. *perches on desk* You see, the word 'resolution' can also refer t.
  62. Be sure you are standing on your left foot and only your left foot at midnight tonight. So that you start the new year off on the right foot!
  63. New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
  64. Testing new mobile phone Hello, i don't know if anyone is going to read this because i am using the internet explorer. But still i wanna wish you a good start in the new year 2010.
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